One day while on my jack Jones in the crew room the fruit segment came in and said.
“Where is Sandy, Dusty, Dinga, Bunny, Smudge, Chalky, Windy, Dozy, Smurf, Lofty, Tiny and the rest of the gash gang”?
I said “Why flight, what’s the problem"
“The wobbly orange is on the war path and the Jengo’s
gone ape, there is a kite in the shed tits up on sticks,
Dunlop’s dangling, and the donk’s need changing and it
looks like we will have to rob the Christmas tree because the stackers box is tits”.
“Well were do I start” I said. “Dusty and Dinga have gone to the snap cabin for some dohbi dust so they can wash their grundies. Bunny has crewed in at the block made sure he’s got four greens on his wank chariot and I
suspect he’s cruising at two feet straight and level knocking up some bed frame hours. Smudge is down the Colonel stuffing his face with egg banjos, he’s probably finished by now. Chalky has gone to the smash and grab for some nosebag. The recently demoted Sandy Sanderson is trimming his tabs and then going to stores to sign his RAF tash back in. Windy was at the shag and shuffle last night and copped off with a lumpy jumper
when he got her back to his wank palace he got her naked and
invited us all round to inspect her ‘schammel wheel nuts’ I think he’s down the dick doctors now. Tiny went to the bank to find there was no item record of his account so he’s nil stock on blats. Ginge has P.V.R.ed he’s fed up of turning and burning and life in a blue suit he’s
stowed his pins and is about to bang out. Smurf and lofty
are arguing about who’s been in the longest smurf said to lofty he was in uniform when lofty was in liquid form to which lofty replied I was in
Baghdad when you were in your dads bag”.
After hearing all that the floppy sausage flipped his lid and
said.
“Tell them
when you see them to expect jankers as they’re all on a
fizzer."

With apologies to the easily offended.

On the off-chance that there are those of you who have not yet seen this beast, above is the Ekranoplan MD-160, a Ground Effect Vehicle used by the navies of USSR and Russia from 1987 until the late 1990s. The class is 'Lun' which is based on the Russian for Harrier (although it couldn't be confused with the BAE type of the same name) and it's classed as a maritime ship by the IMO.

Powered by no less than eight turbofans producing around 300,000lbk of thrust (that's about the same as 2.5 Rolls Royce Trent engines) and with a crew of 15, the Ekranoplan can travel 1,200 miles at a top speed of 342 mph, all of it only 13 ft above the water surface.

Although 90% of a Field Hospital version was produced, the funding ran out leaving the MD-160, complete with its 4 cannon and 6 P-270 Mosquito guided missiles, as the sole example of this extraordinary hybrid. It can still be seen in dry dock at the Kaspiysk naval station on the shore of the Caspian Sea.

Let's hope it's not a Snowhite 'chute.

A really interesting design - I can't wait for them to finish it (if ever - it's only reached this stage after 10 years); hope it works!

Courtesy: Flying Review International March 1970

Your Blogmeister (me, standing) taking cover from the Egyptian sun with family under a Beaufighter TFX in RAF Ismailia, c.1952
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