RAF Banter (from 'I was at RAF Swinderby' FB Page)

One day while on my jack Jones in the crew room the fruit segment came in and said.
“Where is Sandy, Dusty, Dinga, Bunny, Smudge, Chalky, Windy, Dozy, Smurf, Lofty, Tiny and the rest of the gash gang”?
I said “Why flight, what’s the problem"
“The wobbly orange is on the war path and the Jengo’s gone ape, there is a kite in the shed tits up on sticks, Dunlop’s dangling, and the donk’s need changing and it looks like we will have to rob the Christmas tree because the stackers box is tits”.
“Well were do I start” I said. “Dusty and Dinga have gone to the snap cabin for some dohbi dust so they can wash their grundies. Bunny has crewed in at the block made sure he’s got four greens on his w**k chariot and I suspect he’s cruising at two feet straight and level knocking up some bed frame hours. Smudge is down the Colonel stuffing his face with egg banjos, he’s probably finished by now. Chalky has gone to the smash and grab for some nosebag. The recently demoted Sandy Sanderson is trimming his tabs and then going to stores to sign his RAF tash back in. Windy was at the shag and shuffle last night and copped off with a lumpy jumper when he got her back to his w**k palace and I think he’s down the d**k doctor's now. Tiny went to the bank to find there was no item record of his account so he’s nil stock on blats. Ginge has P.V.R.ed he’s fed up of turning and burning and life in a blue suit he’s stowed his pins and is about to bang out. Smurf and lofty are arguing about who’s been in the longest; Smurf said to Lofty he was in uniform when Lofty was in liquid form to which Lofty replied I was in Baghdad when you were in your dads bag”.

After hearing all that the floppy sausage flipped his lid and said; “Tell them when you see them to expect jankers as they’re all on a fizzer."

With apologies to the easily offended.